Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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