sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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