so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
