you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
