FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
