I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
