and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
