you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I am naked and annoyed.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
