Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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