Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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