dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
