Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
oh god the rape fog is back!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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