butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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