Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
