I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
