I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
