I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
