I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
