my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
People with herpes should wear stickers.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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