You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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