Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
