New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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