that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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