So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
