Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
