i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
