No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
