If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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