Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
not ubering you a puppy
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
