My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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