I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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