party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
