you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
