I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
