Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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