Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
