Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
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I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
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