Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize