why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
