So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think my moral compass just broke
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
