I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I will be naked everywhere
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
