In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
