We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
