I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
