Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
