we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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