i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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