This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
