You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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