You really coming over, don't trick.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
