whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
