somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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