I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
