Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
