Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
