I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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