She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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