Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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